I can't believe I have been blogging and sharing stories of my days with eight year olds since September, and have not once mentioned any potty humor. It goes without saying that working around kids, especially elementary age kids, life frequently involves potty humor, including, but certainly not limited to, body sounds.
For example, with almost 100% certainty every day,when we all gather on the back carpet for reading or discussion and sharing, one little one will move a little too quickly and, let's just say, toot their own horn. At least by this time of the year, the giggling is kept to only a few seconds and the blushing of the guilty one is minimal. I always try to just keep reading or chatting, but I usually have to chuckle a little myself.
Today, the students were busy on the laptops finishing up their Michigan history timelines. Three fourth grade girls that were in my class last year, entered our room and approached to give me a birthday treat. I walked the three girls over to my cabinet where I store my candy, which just so happens to be right next to the boy's bathroom. If I have my cabinet door open, it blocks any boy attempting to enter, or exit, the boy's bathroom. Anyway, as I held the candy box out and the girls chose a piece, a loud voice boomed from the other side of the bathroom door.
"Hey! Someone is in here! The bathroom is occupied!" shouted the voice. The fourth graders smiled and scurried out of the room. I began to shut the cabinet doors, not thinking of how loud they are. One of them sticks so I really have to push it shut. As I shut the first door, the voice behind the door roared again.
"Come on! I said someone is in here! Why are you banging on the door so loud? Give me a minute!"
Now, to be clear, I wasn't banging on the door, but the cabinet doors are so close to the bathroom door, I could imagine the confusion. From his side of the door it must have sounded like someone was desperately trying to break the door down.
Needless to say, the classroom had erupted by this time in laughter and howling. I tried to hide my own amusement as I crossed back over to the other side of the room and simultaneously tried to get the students focused and back on task. It didn't take long as these little things occur many time during any given day.
A few minutes later, when the boy emerged from the bathroom, no one even noticed. He seemed unconcerned that moments earlier he had thought someone had tried to get through the bathroom door. I casually strolled over to his desk and squatted down beside him.
"That was just me giving candy to a birthday girl and closing the cabinet doors by the bathroom," I whispered to him. He smiled. "No one was trying to break the door down and get into the bathroom. Sorry to have scared you." He smiled even more and his eyes sparkled in amusement.
"Oh, really? That's funny, because it sure sounded like the door was gonna fall in and I was on the toilet!" He explained.
Lest I receive TMI, I patted him on the back, smiled, and moved to the other side of the room.
Shortly after that, one of my little cuties was talking to me and showing me her beautiful timeline. She was pointing out her illustrations and reading the captions when suddenly, her eyes looked down at my boots. I followed her gaze and we both saw it. On one of my black boots there was a white splotch, that looked exactly like bird poop. She pointed and took a step or two back.
"What is on your boot?" she questioned, quietly. So as not to alert the masses, I presume.
"Yikes! I don't know," I quietly whispered back. "Glue?"
Her and I both knew it wasn't Elmer's on my boot. Her and I both knew that we had been out for an extra fifteen minute recess just a half hour ago. Her and I both knew that somehow, someway a bird had managed to hit the boot target and I was now walking around with bird poop on my boot for the whole world to see.
In a split second, she was over rummaging around under the sink and quickly returned with an antibacterial wipe. She pushed it into my hand.
"Here," she directed. "You can wipe it off."
I wiped it off, threw away the wipe and stood at the sink scrubbing my hands. She reappeared and cozied up next to me. "Aren't you glad it landed on your boot?"
I winked at her. She most certainly had a point.
Because as we all know, poop happens.