Monday, October 14, 2013
Hand Over The Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt
I admit it. I love chocolate. I would eat tons of it every single day if I could do that without expanding my waistline. Thank God I have some self-respect and will power and usually only allow myself chocolate in moderation. Unless it's Halloween. Or a Friday. Or a really bad day at school. Or a really good day at school. Or a Saturday. Or a holiday.
OK, so I guess pretty much any day is a good day for chocolate. Bottom line is chocolate makes me happy and keeps me in a positive frame of mind.
With Halloween nearing, I feel myself being drawn to the bags of mini candies every time I stop by the store to pick up random items or fill a prescription. Actually, I've successfully bypassed them up to now. I even held off and didn't stop for chocolate/candy during my weekend drive back and forth to Chicago to visit my daughter. Usually that long road trip merits some candy of some sort to help pass the time in the car. Yes, I'm that person singing loudly in the car while eating licorice or peanut M & Ms. But with Halloween looming right around the corner, I told myself I would wait for that special day.
It doesn't help that my husband is a regular at Costco. By the first week of October, he normally has already purchased the enormous fifteen pound bag of candy filled with every.single.one.of.my.favorite.mini.candy.bars. So when the first week of October passed and I didn't see evidence of the "bag 'o chocolate candy" I tried to casually ask him what was going on.
Me (in a slightly anxious voice): "So, I haven't seen the big bag of Halloween candy anywhere yet..."
Husband (nonchalantly): "I haven't picked it up yet."
Me (now with panic in my voice): "Well, don't you usually have to get it by now? Before they run out?" Thinking to myself: OH MY GOD... WHAT IF THEY RUN OUT??
Husband: "I'm stopping there tomorrow so I'll get some then."
[The next day]
As my husband was unpacking his purchases, I noticed there was, not one, but two big bags of candy on the counter. Now, seriously, I'm really not going to be able to possibly eat one fifteen pound bag all by myself.
But I guess I could give it a try.
Me: "Two bags? Why did you get two bags?"
Husband (smiles): "Because I know you love chocolate and I don't want you to run out."
He's like my pusher.
Me: "Ha! Ha! Very funny! Well I hope you purchased me some big XL sweat pants too, so I'll have something to wear after I eat all this candy!"
I'm acting all huffy, as I head to the drawer to get some scissors so I can open the big bag and get started on the pounds of candy. This might take a while.
Now, I'm not proud of this, but just last year, I instructed my husband to hide the candy somewhere after he brought it home and not tell me where it was no matter how much I begged him. I told him it was for my own good and that I would only eat candy when I handed it out on Halloween.
Desperate, the next day when I got home from school, I called him at work to get him to tell me where the bag of candy was hidden. He told me he forgot where he put it. When I texted him multiple times telling him I was just kidding and really needed to know where he hid it, he ignored me. He wasn't going to budge. Can you believe the nerve? So, the next day after I got home from school, for forty-five minutes I searched every inch of our basement until I found it. He had cleverly placed it inside a suitcase inside another suitcase. True story.
The scattered empty candy wrappers gave me away when he arrived home from work and naturally, since I was feeling guilty for eating so much candy, I totally blamed him for not hiding it in a better spot. I guess this year, he figured he was not going to bother hiding it and getting blamed for it anyways.
When I looked for the candy after school today, it was nowhere to be found. And my husband isn't answering his phone.
Let's just hope he gets home soon. Or someone might get hurt.
P.S. I know this blog has nothing to do with classroom stories of positivity or keeping my attitude in check. I'll get back on track. As soon as I get some sugar.